We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
