Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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