Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
