i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
