Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
