toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
