stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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