Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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