I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
