The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
