a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
