he told me I talked like a deaf person
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
