He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
