apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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