woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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