Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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