just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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