Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
