ugly people sure do ruin things
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
