Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
