god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
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Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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