whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
