So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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