Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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