you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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