Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
