you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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