Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
