Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
