dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
