You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
be right there i have to get my cape
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
