how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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