Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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