Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
