wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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