i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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