come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
