she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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