I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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