i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
