Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
