My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
