I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
