You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
