I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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