We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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