We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
