Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
