Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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