he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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