I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Enjoy the penises
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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