I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
