i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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