So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
