u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
