After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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