You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
