so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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