Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
