But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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