I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
