I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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