There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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