PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
