tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
